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aLiOoP_11
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Name: Ali
Metro:
Birthday: 2/6/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: james*, candles, napping, sleeping in general, myspace surveys, facebook*, singing, trying my best to be organized, my niece, feeling the feeling of accomplishment, being with friends when I have some, being with family, going to as many Reds games as possible, my car, driving, boycotting things randomly, taking baths, drinking wine, incense, taking too many pictures, being ridiculously spoiled by my mother, space heaters, watching golf, Jay Bruce*, smiling, not smiling, cocoa butter lotion, pancakes, slippers, orange juice & vodka, presents, popcorn, tattoos, and my blankey.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  ali08renee
MSN: ali_2oo8@hotmail.com
Member Since:
1/22/2005
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| I randomly decided to fix this up; so I hid all my past posts and now I'm starting over! -These thoughts have recently been on my mind; In high school, everyone’s like “oh man, I can’t wait to get out of here”.. and everything seems like it’s going extremely slow. All you can think about is getting out, and nothing ever seems to change. The same fights are constantly occurring, the same people are always pissing you off, and seriously.. not a damn thing seems to change from day to day. But then.. you look back, and everything is different. We could all stay back home, in our tiny little town.. where we know every single person; or at least pretty fucking close to every person, but I can not think of anything that would be more boring than doing just that. Nothing against the people who's goal is to be able to stick around, but I personally can not even slightly imagine what it would be like to stay there forever….. even though I sometimes catch myself talking about how much I want to go home etc. while I'm away at school: I mostly mean I need a break from ridiculous school work, and “home” seems to be the only word that translates into “taking a break.” –Setting a goal to never end up back there permanently, seems like an easy enough task to achieve. Spending the rest of my life trying NOT to get sucked back into that place we call home, seems like a good plan. Even though this seems like cake, I have to quickly step back and realize that our –home- is also a giant black hole that seems to almost never let people leave. I don’t want to be one of those people. You think you have people; then the people you care about the most end up being the ones who hurt you the most. You give these people the best of you, and they can/ and will.. tear it apart. You always hear the saying “people don’t change” but that’s ridiculous. Everyone changes. Everything changes. But, everything can/ and will end up the way it should be. You’ll be surrounded by the people you’re meant to be surrounded by, and things in your life will be going exactly how they should be going. As soon as you realize that everything in your "universe" seems to be going smoothly and correctly.. it all changes. It’s like a giant never ending circle. I’m waiting for my currently correct “universe” to be corrupted for the millionth time. I know some psycho people. Ones who fuck with peoples minds, use people, endanger people because of their own stupidity.. and they could give a shit less. I want to do things right, live right, act right etc. How do you do that when you don’t even know what’s right? To constantly do the “right thing” (whatever that is..) it almost seems like I’d have to completely erase everyone in my life. If others chose to change the path their life is on, they’d probably consider me as one of the people they need to erase out of their lives too. Everything’s bad, all the time.. and I want everything to be good! I don’t know if anyone will understand what I mean when I say everything’s bad; I don’t mean I’m constantly out doing things I shouldn’t be doing.. I mean I want everything to be calm, on the right track, and most of all happy. I want happiness, all the time. I want to be content, but I don’t want to settle. Why do you have to overcome so many obstacles to get where you want to be? And what if once you’re there.. it’s not really what you wanted at all? Once your there, and everything’s “perfect in your universe” will the never ending circle of badness roll your way again and destroy what you have? Nothing can be right for a long period of time. I over think things a lot, and my anxiety mostly gets in my way of relaxation.. but I want a good life. What is a good life? In our currently society, and ridiculous economy, a good life consists of a good job.. which means you’re most likely going to have to endure one of those obstacles I talked about before…. this one would be popularly known as college. What happened to being happy with a healthy family? What happened to everyones priorities, including mine?... | | |
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